Ever see the Grandma Hardcore series? It's a granny who plays video games. And swears like a sailor while she does so.

She's hardcore. Way hardcore.

But our game was her Waterloo ;-)

http://oghc.blogspot.com/2005/10/midway-and-surreal-take-grandma-to.html

('cos I didn't do one yesterday, so this is to catch up... plus bonus definitions...)

Love:

1) The incontravertible feeling that the universe will get sucked into a black hole unless you're with a certain someone.

2) Knowing that whatever someone else does, no matter how bad, no matter which species they do it with, you'll still hold their hair back when they're throwing up.

3) The main mechanism of reproduction for trashy paperback novels.

Princess:

A woman who when offered the moon on a stick, complains that she doesn't like sticks.

Yeah, I'm at work, so I'm going to post this early.

Thesaurus;

Extinct reptile that eats libraries.

Genius: someone smart enough to know the wrong question to ask, and to keep asking it until they get the right answer.