There's a site out there - Overheard in New York - which collects things people overhear in passing. You know, random conversation snippets. (It has a few sister sites too - Overheard in the Office, Overheard at the Beach... and there's another unrelated one called InPassing). It's amazing what you pick up if you just keep your ears open. Here's a few of my recent faves.
Five-year-old: Daddy, I don't wanna see Spider-Man 3.
Dad: Come on, why not?
Five-year-old: I hate the black Spider-Man.
Hobo: That child is racist!
Old man: My psychiatrist told me two important things: one, never trust foreigners; two, don't ever waste an erection, even if you're alone.--Restroom, York Theater
During trailer for horror movie where young girl peeks in door of creepy house and says, 'Hello?'...
Thugette: Why they be goin' into some abandoned-ass house like that?
Thug: 'Cause they white.
Lady: I had the worst experience at that restaurant.
Friend: What did you have?
Lady: Horrible diarrhea.
Friend: I meant, what did you order?
Frat boy: ... And I don't really know what happened! All of a sudden I was in an orgy... And you know what? It wasn't even all that good.
Kindly gent: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little kid: Retarded!
Kindly gent: Retarded?
Little kid: My grandpa is retarded, and he gets to play and watch TV all day!
Kindly gent: [Stunned silence.]
Kid's mom, embarrassed: He means 'retired.'
Little kid: Retarded! Retarded! Retarded! I wanna be retarded! [Starts to cry.]
There's sort of a game you can make out of this too. It's called Tomato Funeral.
Simon Cooke is an occasional video game developer, ex-freelance journalist, screenwriter, film-maker, musician, and software engineer in Seattle, WA.
The views posted on this blog are his and his alone, and have no relation to anything he's working on, his employer, or anything else and are not an official statement of any kind by them (and barely even one by him most of the time).